Over the summer, along with practicing all that green-hedge-witchy stuff, ya know spells and such with herbs and plants, I’ve been reading and practicing Shamanism. These two things Wicca and Shamanism are two very different practices and I’m not even going to try to explain them. Go look them up at wikipedia or somewhere if you need some answers. Anyway, it’s the shaman stuff that’s really got my heart moving and really changed my views on my spiritual life.

With my new practices in Shamanism I am finding and certain aspects of my faith need to be redefined or examined. There is a fair bit of confusion in my world right now, both in the mundane and spiritual. In the Celtic Shaman Tradition this is seen as a good thing, imbalance is in a paradoxical way balance. Perfect balance would be stagnation and from that point there is no more growth. So my chaos will lead to change and change with lead to growth.

Before I can continue this exploration I’ve found myself needing to define something’s, namely the vocabulary that is use to describe my experience and define them. If I’m going to write about that here, which I’m still not sure I’m going too, I need to share those definitions here too.

I find myself thinking in the terms of Universal Mythology and Personal Mythology a lot right now. There are new ideas coming in to my head that do not mesh with the Consensus Reality of these symbols. Okay, okay, let me back up a little and define these words so that we’re all on the same page so to speak.

Consensus reality: is the reality that most people agree to be correct. In this case I will be using it to refer to symbolism and Gods and Goddess as the world agrees to mean- so really Universal Mythology and Consensus reality are somewhat inter changeable.

An example would be perhaps Zeus. The Consensus Reality about this God is that he is Greek in origin, king of the Gods on Mount Olympus, that’s something everyone who has studied Zeus and Greek myth with agree on. We might also all agree that he was egoistical, a womanizer and tended to use his powers for his own personal pleasure, but since we might not all agree this statement is were we step into the graying area of Personal Mythology: our own personal opinions based on our experience and relationship with said myths and symbols.

As already said Universal Mythology refers to the mythologies of the world that we would read in books and have remained pretty much the same for hundreds of years. I also use this term to refer to symbolism and the generally accepted meanings for such. An example would be Water. Generally Water is seen to represent the unconscious mind, the subconscious, it is spiritual and healing. It is relaxing, soothing and generally a good symbol. But someone’s Personal Mythology about water could be drastically different if they almost drowned once, or were in a storm at sea. Water may be none of those things to that person.

So their Personal Mythology about water- their experience and relationship with water- is different- unique. That’s what I mean when I talk about personal mythology.

My own beliefs have been an eclectic blend of Universal Mythology- based on reading, learning from teachers and many, many years of Sunday school and my own personal mythology- based on my experiences practicing different spiritual teachings.

Now, as my practice of shamanism has deepened, I’ve entered a new world, so to speak, where certain beliefs that have come from the Universal myths in my life are being challenged. My personal myth is tangling with the universal, demanding change and oh, dear me! - Personal growth- damn it!

But not just that, if that wasn’t enough, these experiences that I’m alluding too, but providing no detail, are challenging to the very universal myths from which the originated. I don’t think I’m explaining myself very well. All I know is that as much as I feel this need, this call to share my experiences I continue to balk at it, cuz if people have had choice words to say about my Goddess lovin’ ways, they are not going to be very happy with my new thoughts. So I’ll leave this post as a lesson of definitions so that if I work up the courage to write further, we’ll all be on the same page with the words I use.

No, I’m not trying to build up, or foreshadow anything. This is just me trying to find my place.

it's been a very long time since I’ve posted anything here. I've spent most of the last few months out in the garden playing with my son, the plants, the flowers and the Deva's. (Nature spirits-- don't freak out)

It's been a wonderful summer and now that autumn appears on the horizon I find myself inside more and more 'puter time.

Everything has changed for me in the last few months and I find myself looking at the world thru a completely different shade or rose coloured glasses. Perhaps I'll write more about that later. I really don't know what I’m going to write about here now.

My spiritually which this blog is meant to be based on has changed to that or internal reflection and I no longer feel any desire to wear it on my sleeve or practice souly so I have something to write about.

And yet the changes that have occurred are also interesting and pretty damn cool- if you ask me. So we'll just have to see.

In the rest of my world everything else has changed too. My child is older and has started preschool. I'm working part time and still being a mom. One of my sisters has left while another has returned. Everything is different and well... I’m just not sure where this will lead.

I say in the side bar: This blog chronicles the journey of one woman as she attempts to define her faith and place in the universe.

I think that's still what I’m doing but my faith has changed, melded with other faiths-- which I know many balk at-- yet that's what has happened and the HUGE risk of sounding like a complete lunatic I very strongly believe that the discoveries I have made are blessed by God.

I realize that THAT statement needs some explaining-- and I will get to that, soon.

Bear in mind that this blog has become a bit ragged from neglect. The links in the sidebars aren't working, and I’m sure there are other issues that need fixing too. I'll get to that one rainy day. In the meantime...

Blessings, FM