Wicca: Demystifying Misconceptions

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Blog Posts of Note:
*Magic, Witches and the Bible
*A brief History of Wicca
*Wicca 101 part 1
*Wicca 101 part 2
*Spells and the Modern Witch
*Do Witches Worship Satan?
*Religious View
*Interview with a Witch
*A Witch's Story of Creation
*One Definition of the Divine
*I am a Witch
* Original Sin, from a Witches point of View
*Why a Witch Could care less about Harry Potter

*Satan is not my Sidekick

*The other people: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Bible

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Something Wicca This Way Comes
I feel so special right now, look Ma! I won an award!

in coming
09.03.08 (8:29 am)   [edit]

It's been a rough week, feels like a million years long. Some new post will come along soon...

Because of pies and bees
08.25.08 (1:05 pm)   [edit]


I spent most of yesterday cooking a thanksgiving-like dinner. My sister and her husband were coming over. They are going to South Africa at the end of September and miss out on thanksgiving (we’re Canadian – it’s in October here) and her birthday. I will miss them at the holiday. She’s been sad lately. A dear friend of hers died two years ago this past weekend. There’s not much I can do to help her or her husband through their grief, which still contains rawness these years later.

When I feel helpless like this, I do what my mom always does, I cook. I cooked her favourite carrots and a roast chicken with stuffing, and I made I pie. I love making pies. I can never make the filling NOT be runny and a big mess on the plate, but I love to make pies.

Yesterday’s pie was Cherry Apple; cherries from the Interior of BC and Apples from my neighbour’s backyard. As I stood in the kitchen peeling the apples I started thinking about how cool it was that these apples were grown so close and picked as fresh as possible. I enjoyed the idea of these apples being “local” and “green”.

Earlier in the Spring I was talking to the same neighbour about Mason Bees. This is my first year having Mason Bees in my yard. He’s had them for years. In the spring when the bees woke up from their cocoons we would see them warming themselves on some dark granite stones I have decorating my deck. They looked so small and fragile, barely noticeable.  Had I not known what they were I would easily have mistaken them for flies, or not seen them at all.

I realized that it would have been those very bees that pollinated the apple blossoms back in the spring. Mason bees busiest times are in the mid spring when fruit blossoms are on the trees. This, of course makes them beneficial to orchard growers.

Mason bees only live for a season, after collect pollen to feed their larva, they die. But in a way they live on in the fruit and berries that grow as a result of their efforts in the world. As I looked at the apples in my hand I felt awe at the way life works here. Without those bees buzzing around I would not have these apples, I would not have a pie. I would not be able to support the grief of my sister.

Mason bees live their life, create a safe home for their offspring and die without every realizing the gifts they have created in the world.

Next year the bees babies will hatch, crawl out of the dark, warm their wings on rocks and then do the same thing all over again; collect pollen for their larva.  In finding food for children they will never know, by accident or design, they pollinate apples, blueberries, currents and pears.  

The simple beauty of it sets me to tears. I can’t imagine a more painfully inspiring example of will and futility.

I ache because I feel part of it. I feel part of cycle that is greater and more profound than i will ever comprehend. This has been missing from my life for a time, this feeling of being connected. I have missed it and longed for its return.

Standing in the kitchen peeling apples brought it back to me, tentative and cautious. Gently, like a bee alighting on the back of my hand, easily shaken off and lost again, but there all the same.  

All because of pie and bees.




About Mason bees:




In the dark
08.23.08 (1:04 pm)   [edit]


Hecate is the ultimate witch. When we picture the Wicked Witch of the West or those nasty halloweeny witch’s with green faces, hooked noses and a giant wart we’re looking at images of the ultimate witch – the archetype witch – pagans and wiccans know her as Hecate. Others now her as pure evil.

Evil? Really? Hecate is a Goddess. A goddess of destruction, chaos and darkness. Those are usually bad things, but sometimes, sometimes they can be useful.

Were we never to have darkness life could not exist. The balance of light and dark on our planet is one of the keys to all life. Darkness isn’t evil.

Within seconds of the Big Bang chaos reigned, which soon became ordered. God, as the creation story goes, discovered life among the chaos. Without chaos we could not have order. It’s a Zen thing, go with it.

Destruction. In the world with war and the rainforests being cut down and global warming keeping us awake at night how can destruction be justified? How can it be seen as anything except evil? Type “Seeds that need fire” in a Google search and you will be bombarded with articles about Redwood Forests, Chaparral and Jack Pines. All of them are trees that require fire to open their cones. Without the destruction of fire these trees cannot propagate.

Fire and destruction are a natural part of our ecosystems. Fire destroys and makes room for new growth as well as adds nutrients to the ground to sustain this new growth.

It is our fear of destruction, fear of chaos, fear of the dark – fear of the unknown that make these things evil. Hecate the archetype of these things is also seen as evil, because she demands we honour them. She reminds us that we have these things inside us.

Things we would hide from our families and friends, pieces of ourselves that are better left in the dark and demonized when brought to the light. We deny what balances us and make scary the witches and demons who would suggest otherwise.

Hecate has the courage to shine a light into the darkness, not to blind us from seeing what is there but to support the realization that what we hid is a part of us. We own it as much as we own our happiness and hopes.

Taking the time to walk with Hecate into our own darkness is a terrifying and usually painful process. But to leave them hidden in the corners allows them to fester and grow, the demons created by our insecurities, losses and fears can consume us. They will devour us if left in that place.

I see Hecate as a being who doesn’t let one hid their garbage in secret. Demands that one owns up and be responsible for the messes they’ve made. She’s a cleaner and a cleanser. It’s an awful process taking a shovel to the rotting wreckage hidden deep in our souls. Not a process one embarks on with much relish.

I certainly fear it, as I sit with it. Staring Hecate in the face as she hands me the shovel.

I would write something...
08.21.08 (4:04 pm)   [edit]
but, my trial version of word is locked, the kiddo is running around screaming - for fun and my neighbour apparently - based on the smell - is BBQing his shoes. Concentration sucks at the moment.

Talking about God is useless - so why do i insist on doing it?
08.20.08 (12:47 pm)   [edit]

I’ve come to realize – dun dun duhn – that talking about God is basically useless. I’ve spent the last year studying Philosophy as it pertains to talking about God and the result is that I can spell Mainmonides, understand the difference between post modernism and post post mordernism, and know that for centuries people have been debating about talking about God and no one’s figured it out.

This isn’t really all that surprising, not to me anyway, but now at least I can jusify it with arguements of Verification and Falsification.

We’re human, God or whatever the heck you call the higher power is not. So useing human language to talk about something not human seems to defeat the purpose. So why then do we still do it? Why do some insist they have it right?

Why on earth am i considering taking another course in Philosophy this year?

Really that’s debae here today. Philosophy... I hated it when i started it last year. I think that trying to be logical about something as illogical as religion, well illogical.

Religion is about our souls and about relationships, in my mind. The hardest thing about my studies over the past year was tearing that all apart. Dismantiling religion to seek truth you’re not going to find tore my soul apart.

Yet here I go ready to jump back in the fray – I’m a year about from a diploma in religion and four away from a Bachelors Degree in Divinty.

This year on the docket – Old Testament (in English) floods, pestilance and prophets, oh my! And either Philosophy of Religion or Reformation History... it’s a tought call... one i’m having trouble making...



PS I don't know why those weird letters are where dashes and other punctuation should be... if anyone knows please let me know PPS I totally kicked ass in my exams this year by the way. I'm all education at stuff now.

04.02.08 (9:15 pm)   [edit]

What a shocking title, I know, I'm as Shocked as you. Well, no not really - but it got you hear didn't it?

While working on some essay questions for school – describe the theological implications of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution – and listening to Enigma (Mcmxc A.D limited edition) I heard the line, 'If you believe in god, it’s because of the devil'.

It struck something in me. Yes, I’ve been completely immersed in theology for the past 8 months, reading and studying and taking the occasion break to watch Dogma and The Last Temptation of Christ (God I love that movie! – ignore the pun), so maybe it’s just my state of mind.

As a good Goddess fearing Pagan I don’t believe in the devil. But from an intellectual point of view exploring that statement seems interesting. How would one explain that? Were I to say to someone, 'If you believe in God, it’s because of the devil' and they said, 'What do you mean?' What would I say in response?

Trying to come up with a response resulted in this post. Yippee for you!

What if it turns out the devil does exist and that in fact he's the one running the show? God as Christians understand him (we're conveniently leaving other religions out of this thought experiment) is something that the Devil has created to keep us all confused or under control. God doesn’t exist, but it is in the devil’s best interest for us to believe in him. While we're worshipping over here, the devil is quietly messing around over there. Interesting.

Now what if Dante told the story wrong and that Lucifer had won wouldn't all the crap in the world suddenly make sense? We aren't living in God’s creation were living in the Devils. Interesting.

Or. The statement is simply saying we believe in God, a compassionate and loving supreme being because we fear an evil one. (supposedly evil one – see post ‘Do witches worship Satan?’ ) Belief in God is simply to make us sleep better at night when the demons are roaming free. Interesting.

I’m sure there are other ways to respond to this line, but the relationship between Science and Religion are, at this time more pressing, Talk amongst yourselves.


The Return of Fairmoon - remember me?
03.31.08 (8:29 am)   [edit]

My last post here was almost a year ago - pretty much exactly. And Thank you Nickster for helping me get my password all straightened out. It's good to be back. Before I disappeared I wrote some posts about my mystical wanderings and that I'd reached a point where I had to stop writing for a while. The things that were happening in my spiritual life were too personal and too raw to muse on and I needed to go deep into them but keep it personal.

This remains to be the way it'll before while, at least with the events of the last year in one realm of my universe. But I think perhaps it is time to begin musing again on a new topic. Spirituality bent of course, but different from how some of you may remember. Of course there's lots of new faces here, and I don't know if I'll export this out to broader horizons. Who knows?

If you don't remember me from years past I recommend clicking on some of the links on the right hand side - I think the links still work - let me know if they don't and I’ll fix them.

But perhaps a sum up might be fun - a little walk down blog memory lane - the good ole times - when I was the only Wiccan writing about pagan beliefs, that doesn't seem to be the case any more and that is awesome.

When I first starting writing here it was mostly meant to be a place for my friends to access my writing, I hadn't expected the ‘total stranger’ factor that jumped in bibles swinging or the others jumping in to my defence, (holy water loosely held behind their backs - just in case).

Way back then, in 2005, there were a few of us from different faiths who actually talked and then actually listened to each other! The discoveries we made about our own faiths and the faiths of each other, remains for me to be one of the most profound experiences in my life.

For me interfaith or ecumenical studies are very important. I look at the problems in the world and I think that so many of them could be solved if we saw our similarities and celebrated our common ground while respecting and celebrating the differences too.

Conversations here were like that, most of the time. I hope that that continues.

A year of silence, how did I fill that time? The Ruler of the universe (aka my son) went from a curious three year old to a precocious four. I got married. Yup – maybe I’ll post a picture (yes it was with the rulers dad –we’ve been together for ten years) And I went back to school.

I’ve been humming and hawing about it for a couple years. The University of London has an awesome external program for Bachelor Degrees and I have been thinking about finally receiving some formal education. I have always, and continue, to honour the importance of “University of Life” education and I’ve put in many gruelling years there, but something more formal called to me.

I said somewhat off handed once about two years ago – the only way I’d be able to do it, would be if someone died and left me some money.

Be careful what you wish for. I lost my grandfather in the winter of 2006. We, my hubbie and I, had been waiting until Christmas to announce our engagement, but we told the surprise early so that he would know before he died. We told my grandma, over the phone, on Dec 21st and she told him. He died the following day; I hope he was happy to hear our news.

How could I not follow through then, when the will was read and there was more than enough money left to me to go back to school? It’s his final gift to me and I am now a month shy of finishing my first year of my Bachelors in Divinity.

Yeah – when I say it there’s always that silence. Wiccan’s I know don’t really get it. My secular and (anti- religion) friends smile and nod while wondering if I’m going to give them Bibles at their next birthdays. Christians assume I’m going to be a minister.

Nothing of the sort of course, I’m still a practicing Wiccan and I go to Church. I take my son to Sunday school. The Church I attend is active in Social Justice, education about the environment and interfaith dialogue. I can’t find that within the Wiccan community and I thrive on it.

My past conversations here, and my own personal study have helped me to discover a balance, a reconciliation between the two faiths I practice. It works for me and my relationship with God is stronger for it. It’s not going to work for everyone else and that’s fine. I’m not here to convince or convert. Just to share, enjoy some conversation some and healthy debate.

I will not debate bible passages though. So please don’t start quoting them here. I’ve asked this before and I will continue to do so. Don’t make me get out my flying monkeys!

Yes, the Studies are Christian based, Heythrop College – my school now – has been teaching Theology and Philosophy since the 1500’s. That’s a pretty good track record. Yet they are not stuck in the past. My two courses this year are Religious Language (philosophy of religion language actually– and how to talk about God) and Science and Religion. Science and Religion starts with history Greek, Aquinas, Galileo, Newton, Darwin, and then gets in to modern science quantum physics, chaos theory and even genetics. I’ve never enjoyed a course more. I wish I could keep studying this subject for the next five years. But next year I intend to take the Old Testament and Islam.

I have exams in a little over a month. I haven’t written exams in over 10 years – I stressed out and terrified. The posts here may for the next month take the form of practicing for my exams. But I’m not totally sure. We’ll see. I may also just disappear off the blog scope again, hard to say. I desire to write again, so hopefully I’ll be around more.


It's good to be home
03.30.08 (8:34 pm)   [edit]
I'm back baby! Please stand by....

30 ways you can be more sustainable- saving the world is my religion
04.23.07 (3:46 pm)   [edit]

At one time I believe this list could be found at 30days of sustainability, but I can no longer find the link. So here are 30 things one can do to change the world.

At Home:

1. Complete an energuide evaluation www.oee.nrcan.ca/residential and undertake some energy upgrades for your home.

2. Ensure you have efficient water fixtures or install flow reducers where appropriate

3. Recycle and compost- share a compost with neighbours if possible, and look into indoor, not smelly, options- they do exist

4. Buy local, organic food, when and where the choice is available.

5. Turn off the lights and turn down the heat when you’re not in the room or at home

6. Use compact fluorescent lights (CLF) and put dimmers on your incandescent and halogen lights.

7. Use your blue box program, and don’t forget that recycling is the third “R”. We should seek to reduce and Reuse first and second.

8. Look for “Energy Star” labels that identify the most energy efficient models when investing in new appliances, TV, and Computer.

At Work:

9. Encourage your company/building management company to participate in a program to “green” your workplace

10. Create a sustainability policy for your company. Convene a sustainability team whose responsibility will be to pursue more sustainable directions

11. Include sustainability or corporate social responsibility in your reporting methods.

12. Pursue becoming carbon neutral as a company by building offsets for carbon emissions associated with your work, and/or buying green energy certificates from BC hydro.

13. Green your fleet. www.fleetchallenge.ca

14. At lunch, bring your own clean reusable plastic container to the restaurant for takeaway to avoid Styrofoam.

15. Pursue green building and interiors initiatives within your offices, including energy efficient, non-toxic materials

On the road:

16. Take transit, Ride a bike, Car pool as often as you can

17. Explore opportunities to work at home at least one day per week where your jog situation will allow.

18. Use the most fuel-efficient vehicle you can that meets your needs and look for greener fuels where available, including ethanol and bio diesel blends.

19. Drive carefully both for fuel efficiency and for safety in our communities.

20. Join an auto co-op or shared car program as a replacement for your car, or second car.

21. Plan your trips efficiently limit the number of trips and maximize the quantity of things you get done on each trip.

22. Find restaurants and shops close to where you live to serve your needs. It cuts back on driving and supports local business.

At school

23. Find alternatives to driving to school when possible- transit, walk, carpool, ride a bike

24. Ask your student council or parent/teacher association to lobby for local, healthy food in the cafeteria and vending machines.

25. Join a school club that allows involvement in environmental and/or social causes

26. Ask your teachers if your school uses recycled paper- if not ask them to do so

In life:

27. Slow down and focus on those things that are most important to you: make a commitment to reducing your stress

28. Be a conscious consumer: aim for zero waste and buy less. When you shop think if you really need it or if you just want it. Think Renewable, recyclable, reusable, durable and energy efficient.

29. Pick on organization in your community that supports social and/or environmental health and volunteer for them one day per month.

30. Be a mentor for a young person, somewhere in your neighbourhood

Personally, I think that these suggestions are fantastic ones, but I also recognize that some of them are hard to do- financial reasons play a huge role in my inability to do some of these ideas. But I find that this list is inspiring and has given me some thoughts of alternatives to the things on this list. I’m looking forward to completing my list.

Pagan Christ, Born of a Women, The Last Week: books, not for the faint of heart, or literalist Xtian
03.26.07 (2:11 pm)   [edit]
I mentioned "The Pagan Christ" book, by Tom Harper in another discussion and the question asked of me was to expound on it a little, so a did, maybe a little too much.

Well the basic idea behind the book is that the Stories attributed to Jesus predate Jesus and have existed in Mythological form in Egypt and other ancient "Mystery Cults" of the Greeks. He looks mostly at the Myths of Horus and shows how the "Miracles" said to have been performed by Jesus were also performed, almost exactly, by Horus. He compares the birth and death narratives of Jesus, Horus, Buddha and Zoroaster and shows how they are parallel each other.

Through out the book he talks a lot about the Symbolism in the Bible and how it has been taken as being literal fact- something never intended. His major sources are the researchers/writers Alvin Boyd Kuhn and Gerald Massey and Godfrey Higgins who were experts on Mythology, Religion and Ancient Egypt. (I haven't read any of their works)

His final conclusion it what has made the book controversial. He concludes that there was no Jesus at all. That he is just a retelling of other Mythological Gods and there is more evidence to prove Jesus was just made up to bring a modern feel to ancient Myth, then to prove that there was a man who in someway embodied the archetype created by Horus [and Moses].

I personally found that conclusion a little hard to swallow. Though I do not believe in the literal Jesus as the Bible says, I do believe there had to be a person whose life and ideas embodied the archetype and after his death, be it crucifixion or other, was mythified by attributing these myths already in the collective consciousness of the Culture to his life. I just don't see how a NEW myth could be created out of thin air, there needed to be a catalyst to set in motion, a person who the ideals could be attached too, whether they were actually his or not.

I found the book, Born of a Woman, by John Spong to be the most helpful in the forming of that opinion. In that book he talks in great deal about a style of Writing done by Jewish clerics called Midrash, where they did essentially what I mention. They took a story, the story of Jesus as the prime example, and as they wrote out his story they added to it pieces of information and ideas that already exist. The reason, Spong, suggests there's so much allusion back to the prophets of the Old Testament, isn't because Jesus actually fulfilled they prophecies but because the scribes would have known the prophecies and refitted Jesus' story to match.

My favourite example of this is in the Gospels. In Matthew, after Jesus is born the family flees to Egypt to escape Herod, and then return from Egypt when the threat is gone. This parallels Moses flight from Egypt and fulfills a prophecy; from Isaiah (I think) saying the Messiah will come from Egypt, or something like that. The writer of Matthew would have known that and as he was appealing the story to Jewish converts making Jesus the modern Moses would have helped his cause.

The family doesn't go to Egypt in Luke, they go to the Temple and then home. There's some more prophecies fulfilled there too, but I don't remember them. I really enjoyed that book. If you’re interested in ripping a part the literalism of the bible and looking at the symbolism, Born of a Woman is a good one. It’s only the Birth narratives though, but that’s enough to set you’re mind reeling. Another good one is the Last Week, by Marcus Borg. Again it rips to shreds the literalism of the Last Week of Jesus’ life. Both look at the symbolism behind these stories and what they mean, whether literal or not.

Neither are trying to destroy or rip apart Christianity, just these literal ideas some have. In fact, for me they’re made Christianity easier to swallow, since so many of the symbols I now see parallel symbolism in other religions.

After reading the Last Week I can see the Horned God and Pagan stories of the Wheel of the year as being parallel to Jesus’ story. Dying for the people, dying for the land and being reborn for the people, for the land. Without the qualifiers am I speaking of Jesus? Or the Sun God?

Comment as you like, but speak not to me of "I am the way, the truth, the light" or any of this Jesus in the ONLY Truth stuff- cuz ya'll know darn well I don't believe that.

Poems for March
03.21.07 (9:47 am)   [edit]

I love thee well, nay, but I love thee not, How can I tell if I do love or not, Unstable and untrue! The raging lion now, and now the lamb, The winter’s blast, laden with springtide balm, O wild March, which is you?

- Mrs. Jane (Goodwin) Austin, in the "Old Farmer's Almanac" for 1917.

With rushing winds and gloomy skies The dark and stubborn Winter dies; Far off, unseen, Spring faintly cries, Bidding her earliest child arise.

- Bayard Taylor.

I Martius am! Once first, and now the third ! To lead the Year was my appointed place; A mortal dispossessed me by a word, And set there Janus with the double face.

- Longfellow's "Poet's Calendar" for March.

The brown buds thicken on the trees, Unbound, the free streams sing, As March leads forth across the leas The wild and windy spring.

- Elizabeth Akers Allen, in the "Old Farmer's Almanac" for 1912.

The Literal Resurrection?
03.20.07 (8:03 pm)   [edit]
The Question posed at another discussion site was,

Do you believe in the literal Resurrection?

To which i dashed off this answer:

Good Question. I just finished reading this book by Marcus Borg, called The Last Week. It's all about the week before Easter from the bible. It's a very interesting read and he talks a little about literal vs. symbolic. He defiantly leans towards symbolic, but says that whether it literally happened, or 'symbolically' happened it’s the point. The point is 'What does it mean?' which I think is also the point.

I admit I'm still working out how I feel about this part of it all.

What really struck me and is sticking in my brain from that book is the word used to describe what the disciples 'saw' when they 'saw' Jesus before them. The word in Greek, which I can't find in the book, can mean either actually 'saw' or 'had a vision'. Could it be perhaps that in their grief the disciples had comforting visions of Jesus after his death? I do believe in visions as ways the divine can communicate with humans. So if they had a vision, I can buy that.

Another theory that I find myself thinking about is a theory that Jesus didn't actually die. There are claims that the Essenes had rituals that centred on symbolically dying and then being reborn after three days. Lazarus may have also been a symbolic death within that community and Jesus broke protocol by 'bring him back to life' with out having the authority to do so at the time. So some claim that Jesus' death might have been ritual based, much like the pagan rituals of the Sun God being reborn at Yule/ Ostara.

Of course, both of those theories are based on believing that Jesus lived AT ALL. Which on occasion I have my doubts about.

Most of the time I believe that Jesus was a man mythified. I don't believe he had a 'divine birth', but I believe that he embodied certain qualities that made him seem 'more than human' which after his death got, for lack of a better term, blown out of proportion. It's taken me 30 years to get that far, I’m still working on the Resurrection part. But I do know that I don't believe it literally happened like it's been described in the bible, because I don't believe anything in the bible as literal.

I believe in Parable and that the stories in the bible contain a higher truth if you will, beyond the "this literally happened". The Stories show a truth that exists in the word and these same stories appear in other religions and cultures as well. Western culture is so caught up in factually truth, or factually evidence, that we miss the 'truth' that is staring us straight in the face. We all read aesops fables as children, are the morals taught in those stories any less true because they probably didn't actually happen to a turtle, hare, fox or raven? No, we continue to teach our kids these stories because of the meaning behind the stories, the means held within them. I believe that's the point of the Jesus stories.

So, no I don't believe in the literal resurrection, as the Dogma would suggest. But I believe SOMETHING had to have happened that made this one particular guy stand out above all the rest. Make him different from even John the Baptiser who was also saying essentially the same thing, but he was never made in to a Demi-God.

I'm leaning towards visions of the Resurrection. For me Visions aren't 'less' real than reality. Shamans in South America, North America, Africa, North Europe, all over, have used visions as their primary tool and way of communicating with the Divine. It is only in Western Culture, and really only after the 'Enlightment' that 'visions' were brushed off as hallucinations or mental disturbance. Which is also the time period where Truth, fiction and parable when their separate ways.

Confusing, yes? But that’s how is seems to be in my world. What about yourself?

I'm interested in others thoughts, reasons you believe what you believe, not bashing, and I'm not going to get in to a big theological debate other this. And if one person says "the bible tells me so" i'm disabling the comments.


Magic as Probability Enhancement
02.13.07 (6:57 pm)   [edit]

I may have written about this before, but I like the concept and I’ve been thinking about it. I think I like it cuz it’s kinda sciencey and therefore helps me explain magic to people who look at me like a freak when I mention it.

We can look at magic as shifting the probabilities or “ the odds” from one outcome to another. “There’s a 50% chance of rain tomorrow,” or “The odds against that happening are ten to one.” In such a statement, there are two factors: the probability and the improbability. If the odds are ten to one against, the probability is one and the improbability is ten. But the thing is, in such a case, if you do it ten times, then the improbability drops to one, and the probability goes up to ten. Once more, and the improbability becomes a virtual certainty. Even if the odds are a million to one against, like in winning the lottery, if more than a million people play, then at least one is virtually certain to win. This could explain why there are so many coincidences and synchronicities. In an infinite universe, all improbabilities must be finite. Nothing we can imagine truly impossible. The only real question is, what are the odds?

In this context magick as “probability enhancement” consists of increasing the odds to favour of our desired outcome. It’s like piling rocks on the high end of a seesaw until the balance shifts, and the other end goes up. Every bit helps— not only large boulders, but even small pebbles and grains of sand; it just takes more of them. When both ends of the seesaw are off the ground and level, the balance is 50:50, and it hinges on the fulcrum (balance point). At that point, it doesn’t take much to tip the balance one way or another—or even to pivot the whole thing into a different alignment entirely.

The trick is to find the cusp. A cusp is an intersection between fields of alternative probability. At such places the potential as to which of these alternatives the probability wave will collapse into is in delicate balance—things could easily go either way. At a cusp, it takes little energy to move between the intersecting states, and “probability enhancement” can have very large impact because of a domino effect of probabilities changing outward through space and time like ripples in a pond.

I didn’t write this. I can’t remember who did, I cut and pasted it, okay I ripped it off, but I’m willing to admit it, so I don’t screw with anyone’s copyright. I liked it and felt like I needed to post something to balance out all this Jesus talk that’s been happening around here.

Turn the other Cheek
02.08.07 (4:55 pm)   [edit]

While reading one of the posts, I don’t even remember which one, someone suggested, “turning the other cheek” regarding some matter. This term was used to mean, “Let bygones be bygones.”

I just can’t help it; I have to point out that that’s not really what phrase ‘turn the other cheek’ means. Over time and in today’s society that is what it has come to mean, but originally it might something entirely different, if fact almost the exact opposite.

This line of course, comes from Matthews Sermon on the Mount 5:38ish. At the time that Matthew was written customs of the time made it permissible for a person of ‘higher status’ to slap the right cheek of any offending person for any transgression. For example a Roman solider could slap pretty much any of the common peoples, and a Master could slap the right cheek of a slave. This custom could be used any place where someone of a higher class was punishing someone of a lower class. The custom was for the Right Cheek only, and only one slap. The person receiving the punishment could do little about it because of their ‘lesser’ status.

Therefore to ‘turn your other cheek’ invites the master/solider or other ‘higher class citizen’ to merit out punishment beyond the custom. The lesser person is suggesting that one slap doesn’t matter and to ‘go ahead slap me again’. This passive aggressive behavior takes the humiliation off of the lesser person, and potentially brings humiliation to the higher because they either 1. Have to ‘give in’ to the lesser and walk away from the situation, thus giving the lesser the upper hand. Or 2. Lose their temper and slap the other cheek, which would also be humiliation to the higher status person.

The same paragraph mentions “if anyone sue you for your coat, give him your cloak as well”, and “if any one forces you to go one mile, with him two”.

Again in the cases of classes someone of a higher class could demand a lesser person’s coat, as payment if money was owed, or really just cuz they could. The lesser person could get the upper hand by also giving their cloak, or robe- basically giving them all their clothes so that the lesser was naked before the higher. This would be embarrassing to the higher, because demanding nudity of someone was offensive, and people would see the higher person as cruel for taking all of someone’s clothes, especially when that person is ‘less that you’ and probably poorer too.

I find the last one the most interesting. Again at the time there were customs (perhaps laws) saying that any Roman solider could demand that any common man carry all his belongings while on a march, but only for one mile. Then the solider would have to take his belongings back, or find another peasant. By insisting on going another mile, the ‘lesser’ would force the Solider to demand his own belongings back, or be seen as cruel for demanding more from someone than custom dictated.

The reason I point these out is that so often the term ‘turn the other cheek’ is used to say, ‘ah just let it go’. But it really is an invitation to passive resistance to authority. It is a way of given tools to the poor and common folk to demand respect of the higher class peoples. It’s about not letting it go at all but to ‘fight the power!’ for lack of a better phrase.

So often we forget the Jesus was revolutionary, who challenged authority, disregarded traditional custom, both secular and Jewish, in unique and, dare I say, subversive ways. Jesus as a Rabble Rouser- that’s someone I can believe in. (maybe)

Side note: the phrase “rule of thumb” refers to the width of a stick that a man could use to beat his wife. As in the stick you beat your wife with can’t be any wider than your thumb. Nothing to do with the bible, it just bugs me when I hear people use it.

A Witch Goes to Church- regularly
02.07.07 (10:01 am)   [edit]

Hhhmmm I realize that I’m using a little bit of shock value in naming this post, yet since in one way I still consider myself a witch and I have been going to church regularly the title remains accurate.

The simple fact of the matter is that since my return from the silent retreat last November I have more questions than answers and I’ve had this desire to be a part of a community.

When I was little we went to church every week and I had this sense of community, though I didn’t know that’s what it was called. I realized that’s what I wanted for my son; a sense of belonging and safety somewhere, and the only place that made sense was church. The fact that there’s nothing much else to do on Sunday mornings and we were bored, also played a role in this decision, but hush- saying that makes me look bad.

Now my son is becoming a part of “Children’s Community”, though I’ll always call it Sunday school. He was even invited to light the Christ Candle at the opening of the service a couple weeks ago. He made his grandma and myself strangely proud to watch him walk carefully up the isle holding the long taper thingy.

No disrespect to the minister intended, but I’m not finding the answers to my questions by attending Sunday services. Our minister’s sermons no doubt make me think and have given me pause over the last few weeks, but as far as Spiritual Enlightment goes, it’s not there on Sundays. I knew that would be the case and have discussed it with the minister a couple of times.

So why then am I going? Is the prodigal daughter returning meekly to the fold? Have I seen the error of my pagan ways and humbly prostrate myself before Jesus? Are you reading the sarcasm in my words?

Again, this community thing is important to me. We’re going to the same church that I attended as a child and my parents are still very involved in, so rather than having to make new acquaintances and friends, I’m re-enlivening my relationship with people I’ve known my entire life.

I’ve eluded to an event in past blogs that has made me rethink some things, change my perspective and though I am still unable to share the details of that event, I can share that has it’s led me to return to my roots. I’ve spent a long time growing upwards and outwards exploring an outer relationship with Spirit, but now I have to go inward and down, metaphorically, and that leads me back the Christian roots.

This does not mean that I’m turning my back on my pagan beliefs. I just can’t do that; I still remain deeply connected to those beliefs. Yet now I’m curious about this Christianity thing and my relationship with God through as one might say ‘a Christian bent’ and I keep hearing about this Jesus guy…

Jesus. Yeah, that guy. I don’t think my friend P knew what he was doing when he asked me the day we started the Silent Retreat “what’s your relationship to Jesus?” I don’t think he knew just what sort of reaction I was going to have to that question. My initial reaction was to ask him a question “did I even need to have a relationship with Him?” those within the Christian circle would likely say, of course. How can you be Christian and not have one?

But how many “good God fearing Christians” do? How many actually can say they have any more of relationship with Jesus than what they’ve been told all their lives? I know that a few fellow bloggers definitely have a relationship that is personal and close. PDave’s son seems to be struggling with his relationship, which is perhaps why I write this now, I’m thinking about it again. But the regular joe-shomoe does he? And does he care?

Really I have no answers to these questions, nor to I expect to find them. Regardless of that, I’ve joined this zany bible study class and I’m enjoying because I’m not the only one totally enraged by this nutty book so many people revere. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

I have been reading a lot, the bible for one- this class has a heck of a lot of reading for it. And books like the 'Pagan Christ', by Tom Harper, 'Born of a Woman', by John Spong and the 'Gospels of Mary Magdalene'. All of which challenge me and comfort me, cuz Thank God I’m not alone in my beliefs! And as a result of the reading and thinking I leaning towards saying, ‘no I don’t need a relationship with Jesus. Just that being they call his dad.’

I do truly believe that is possible to reconcile my pagan beliefs and Christian ones. I do truly believe that some sort of interfaith is possible. I have a lot more to say on the subject but so much of it still remains half formed and somewhat ambiguous in my mind.

So please forgive the ramblings that will be coming as I work this out. For me writing helps me clear my head. I am considering turning off the comments here at my blog. My reason for that is that though I greatly appreciate the support of my readers, I find sometimes that some comments are not so much supportive but, what the word, preaching perhaps, no, that that’s not the word I want but I can’t find the rite one.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that this blog is my journey, my search and when I have posts that “tell” me I’ve got is wrong, or that “I should see it that way” irks me. I’m seeking and learning. I’m at a different point in the road and others and I don’t need to be told, “well I discovered THAT ten years ago”.

Does that make sense? I don’t want to offend anyone by saying this, but again, though I post here because the support helps me, a lot. Sometimes the comments I receive feel like judgment, which no one needs as they walk the path.

All that being said, if I do decide to turn off the comments, please feel free to tmail me. There are those of you whose opinions and thoughts matter to me, you know who you are, and I would miss your comments and friendship- which is the only reason I wouldn’t turn off the comments. I can’t have it both ways, I know. Just me thinking out loud again.

Anyway, time to get my son dressed for the day and read chapters 15-16 in the delightful gospel of Matty.

PDave, I would like to offer up another book challenge to you, should you be willing to accept it. I am of course, open to a book suggestion from you for me- just not CS Lewis again- he’s too long winded for me. I would like to suggest you read “Born of a Woman” by Bishop John Spong. I would very much like to discuss it with you. Let me know.


We are all Stardust
01.30.07 (3:57 pm)   [edit]
We are all stardust. I had a dream many years ago; it was all black and dark. In the middle of this blackness an egg appeared. The egg hatched and out flowed stars, revolving and spinning around the egg creating a beautiful spiral. Some of the stars spun off to form their own spiral galaxies, I continued to watch the first. It sparkled and waved and turned into a tree. A great big tree with branches reaching so high and roots sliding down deeper and deeper. Then the tree shimmered and shook and turned to a bird, glittering and shining it flew away.

We are all stardust. At one time there was nothing and then there was EVERYTHING. The stars were created and from the dust of those stars came the planets, our planet, then the land and water, plants, animals and then us. All of us and everything around us were created from the same thing, stardust. When we die our bodies will return to the earth and our energy will return to the stars to be reformed.

Seeing the world with this view we see how interconnected we are with our planet and universe. We are dependent on our planet and our relationship with it. Yet we are also individual spirits, separate in out oneness. This is the Shaman’s view. It can be quiet confusing, this paradox of oneness with Self and oneness with the universe. This is the Shaman’s journey.

Shamanism is probably the oldest spiritual practice on the planet. It also the widest spread. Evidence of shamanic practice can be found on all the continents in the form of rock paintings and carvings. Shamanism is not a religion, but a spiritual practice that involves a relationship with all things in nature, people, plants, minerals, energy and spirit. And the awareness of the unity we have with all these things. By making this connection the shaman is able to heal herself and work with others. It teaches respect for all creation. It is a different approach to living that often restores something missing from our lives: a Union with the Divine.

Shamans were and are the people’s Connections to the Divine. They work in harmony with the powers of spirit and nature to help their people to heal. “Healing self, heals others. Healing other’s, heals community. Healing community, heals world.”

When I first began writing about Spiritualism it was under a topic called “Shamanic Healing” This article that you are now reading was my first published article. I wrote that: Shamanic Healing is both a journey of self-healing and a journey to help others heal themselves. Often people need help starting their own journey or find they need help along the way. The shaman provides the catalyst needed for that push. They work with energy and vibrations on many levels, physical, mental, and psychological, but more frequently on a deeply emotional level where an individual many have trouble or fear going himself.

I find myself cringing now at the audacity I had saying this next sentence: I am a shaman. I journey myself to talk to spirits and animals. When I work with others I use many different tools; herbalism, scrying, communication with spirits, totems, crystals, meditation, massage, energy healing, dreams, flower essences, etc… It always depends on the person I’m working with and what my intuition picks up from the persons energy. So much of this work is done subtly with intuition, and the energy fields in the body.

I do still do all of this, but I am no longer so bold and to label myself a Shaman, or anything else right now. I am going through a huge Spiritual Shift right now and I found myself thinking about the dream that I had. Later in this article I write that the dream is about the birth of a shaman but now I don’t see it that way. I think it’s about the journey I’m taking and my own personal shifts in growth and understanding. I’m at the egg hatching part. Though I wish I were turning into the bird.

Shaman’s have had many names over the years- witch doctor, medicine man, witch, voodoo priest, wiccan, herbalist, healer, energy healer, spiritual healer, wizard, magician, soothsayer and too many more to list. There are so many different aspects of shamanism it is impossible to name them all. In these times terms like alternative medicine, natural medicine, complementary medicine etc… are used. These are aspects of shamanism or shamanic healing is an aspect of them. It really all depends on how you look at it.

My dream was about the creation of a shaman. The shaman is the tree rooted and solid in the earth. Reaching and growing towards and divine. Forever balanced in chaos around her.

With Shamanic healing for a topic there are many different aspects to write about. I plan to write about some of my own experiences as a shaman. And write about things that you can do to improve your personal health and growth. I welcome all comments, suggestions, questions and opinions. I will answer all questions to the best of my ability.

As a final thought I remind you that we are all Spirits of the Divine. After all we are all Stardust.

I’ve defiantly changed a lot since I wrote this article,in 2001, though at the core I remain the same, I just express it differently. I find it interesting that no matter where I go, what faith I learn and explore be it Wiccan, Shamanism, Christianity, Buddhism etc… I find that the Key to all of them is the belief that we are not alone and in some way (different for each faith) we seek a connection to the Divine. In the end what matters is that we have a connection to Divinity and that we feel comforted by, or One with, our Creator. The words are different, the ways and rituals are different but the solace we seek remains the same.

01.20.07 (9:55 am)   [edit]
FYI: for those leaving real and meaningful comments here.

If I miss responding to your comments it is because some jerk-off is leaving me upwards of 35 comments a day say "nice blog, come visit my homepage" or words to those effect.

Real comments are getting lost in the spam. Sorry and thanks for your patience, I'm trying to work it out.


Hands that pray
01.15.07 (1:37 pm)   [edit]
Sometimes I wonder about my hands that pray, are they so different from everyone else’s hands that pray?

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We all hold our hands the same way sometimes. To pray, to honour, to meditate, to cry, to grieve.

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When I see hands in prayer; everyone’s hands look the same.
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Image hosted by Photobucket.com It makes me wonder why we think we’re so different.

previously posted last august, here of course.


Five things you didn't know about me, and i'll probably regret telling you
01.11.07 (3:39 pm)   [edit]
Ruined over at Binge : Purge http://ruined.tblog.com tagged me a few weeks ago, and i've only just now had time to post them.

so here are five things you maynot, and i'm not really sure i want anyone, to know about me, Fairmoon:

1. i have a strange and unhealthy obession with America's Next Top Model (I'm Canadian and i'd rather pull out my own teeth with pliers than watch Canada's next top model) and I secretly pretend i'm tall enough and pretty enough to be on the show.

2. I'm 29 years old and still live with my parents. Though I own the house and they pay ME rent.

3. When i was 11 i chipped my two front teeth on the handbars of my bike running away from a 13 year old bully named Jesse. i still haven't got them fixed because i'm abnormally scared of the dentist.

4. I've never been to Disneyland because i'm absolutly terrified of people dressed up in mascot/cartoon character costumes.

5. once when i was about five or six i stuck a little ball of paper up my nose and i can't honestly remember if i ever got it out.

so do i tag five people now? what if they've already been tagged? I now tag: Pastordave, Surrogate, musicalhair, carmencc, and godsmack. post here or at your own blog, i'm not really sure how this game works.


Christian and Wiccan, at the same time?
12.28.06 (8:44 pm)   [edit]
I have by no means reached the definitive answer to how it is possible to be both, but here's what I’ve got so far,

In response to the question asked of me: “Christian and Wiccan? Please explain that one to me…” I penned this response, and I thought it worth sharing to others who may be curious and perhaps also attempting to define their own beliefs. Thanks for listening.

To explain how I am both Christian and Wiccan can take a bit of time; I still haven't worked out a 'sound bite' answer to it, so please bear with me. First off I was raised, baptized and confirmed into the united church, but as I grew older found it to be lacking 'something', so began my search for something more. I really didn't have a clear knowing of what was missing, for me, but something was.

It's only been recently, say in the last six months, that I’ve begun to understand my reasons for setting out on that search over 15 years ago, and have had that search bring me right back to my roots. Along the way I've picked up a lot of information and knowledge, some of it sits with my faith and some of it doesn't.

What I've come to understand is that God, is an all-powerful universal energetic entity completely beyond human comprehension. We can no more count all the grains of sand on a beach, than understand the true scope of God. (Or creator, or universal divine, or goddess- whatever word suits). Humans in an attempt to understand and cope with such an awe inspiring, and admittedly terrifying, truth about the higher power has anthropomorphised God into something they can understand. Humans humanized God, gave the creator human attributes that relate to the society in which humans find themselves.

Case in point, God in the Old Testament and God in the New. It's the same God, and yet the Hebrews relationship at the beginning of the story with their God is drastically different from their later relationship where Jesus enters it. Same God, who's evolved along with His worshippers.

Understanding This, I see that the stories and myths from all religions are humans continued attempt to have relationship with God. There are universal symbols that move through most if not all religions that symbolize God- stars, light, the sun, doves and other birds, flames etc... These are all, again, attempts for humans to have a relationship in a 'knowable way' with a higher power that is completely unknowable.

For me there are practices within Christianity, and symbols, that enhance my relationship with God, just as there are practices within Wicca that do the same. Then there are the crossovers such as the symbolic use of, for me personally, stars and doves.

I have often been told that religion is an 'all or nothing' kinda thing. I can't 'pick and chose what I like from Christianity' but I see that happening all the time within Christianity. Baptists are very different from Unitarians who are very different from Catholics. Some could say that the different beliefs within Christianity have 'picked and chose' for themselves. I say that now, to you, because I'm thinking it, and remembering the last time I answered this question, and that being the response of the last person to question me.

So, to try to sum up, I believe 'religion' to be symbolic and humanized practices that are VERY Necessary, attempts to comprehend a higher power that we can not ever hope to understand fully. A metaphor would be, if the higher power, or God was a diamond we can look at the many faces of that diamond and see them each differently, but they are all part of the same whole that is more beautiful that any of its individual facets. Wiccan’s see one facet, Christians another, I am hoping by looking at as many facets as I can to perhaps, one day, catch a glimpse of the whole.

How was that answer for you? Did it make enough sense to you? I understand that you may not agree, and I’m certainly not asking you too. Please ask any question you may have, if this has brought up more questions for you, I’ll do my best to answer them.

In light, Fairmoon

PS, here are a couple other statements I’ve made in posts/ or blogs (can’t remember where) that are other ways that I explain my beliefs, though I may be stirring the pot too much by adding them, I hope they help.

“I believe that we all have our own way on 'seeing' God. We visualize the unknowable in a way that is Knowable. If one person sees a Goddess and another sees a God, or an animal or an angel, we're all seeing an image of the Divine that we can understand and have relationship with.”

“I believe we see the Creator as something beyond our ability to comprehend and put a face to it because that’s the only way that we as humans can cope with something so utterly huge and overwhelming..."

A walk with Jesus' Mom
12.22.06 (2:31 pm)   [edit]
I'm starting off by saying some stuff that most people already know, just to set the stage. Most people are aware the Christmas falls at near the Winter Solstice and that many other Pagan holidays were at one time celebrated on the 25th of December.

So what right? Christmas and these pagan holidays are totally different right? Not really, when you look at it. In Pagan Traditions the Winter Solstice celebrates the Birth of the Sun, the rebirth of light and the renewal of life. Kinda what Jesus' birth was all about too huh?

Recently I was talking with my "spiritual advisor" about my beliefs as both a Wiccan and Christian. We have been exploring Christian Symbolism through a Pagan perspective. In Wicca I have a deep relationship with the Female aspect of the Divine Creator, something I've found lacking in Christianity. He suggested that I 'take a walk with Mary' and see how she, as a mother and Christian icon, relates to me.

As I walked with her we spoke of children, hers, and mine she said some things to me that rang true for me and may perhaps ring true for others so I share them here. Do what you will with them.

She spoke of Christmas, and the birth of her child being celebrated the world over and she reminded me that all mothers hear a voice, or see an angel telling them that their child will be special and to remember that. At a time when it seems to politically incorrect to say "Merry Christmas" to think that Christmas can be more than just a celebration of the birth of one child, but can be the celebration of the birth - or rebirth- of our own Divine Child within ourselves.

Christmas brings us light; we can find that light within ourselves and celebrate that as well.

She also asked the question, who has more fun at Christmas Adults or Children? And if nothing else remember that children do, so be like a child at Christmas and enjoy the holiday through the eyes of children.

So this year I will celebrate Christmas as more than just the birth of Jesus and a visit from Santa Claus, but also as the rebirth of the Divine within me, may it shine with compassion and understanding,

Blessings and Merry Christmas everyone, FM

Finding God in Wicca, some more
12.20.06 (2:52 pm)   [edit]
Ever since I went on the silent retreat I’ve been thinking about the line in the Gospels about Mary, after the birth of her son, “pondering all these things in her heart”, it’s a good line for how I’ve been feeling these days, or rather months. I can guess that Mary was probably very overwhelmed by the time all the hoopla of the birth and magi visits happened. Luke and Matthew neglect to mention how exhausted new mothers are after giving birth. That alone would have been enough.

There was a lot to think about after the birth, so much happened so fast, and even when you think you’re ready for it, it’s never what you expect. For me in these last few months I’ve experienced similar feelings and I haven’t written about them because as Mary needed to ponder all her happenings for a time, so have I.

There are still some events that I cannot, and will not share here, they remain too young and raw and I need to keep them close to my heart. But there are others that I feel a desire to write about and share and continue to explore here.

I’ve recently discovered Wondercafe.ca, it’s very interesting discussion website created by the United Church of Canada- My church. *And yes my minister knows I’m a Witch* we’ve had a couple chats about it and will likely discuss it more in the future. It’s worth a visit and I’ll probably wander around there a lot more in the next while.

In a post a few months ago I expressed the question asking how it was that Pastor Dave and Surrogate could “talk to God” with out too much backlash and how I felt that if I were to do the same there would be A LOT of backlash. They response I had to that was very comforting- thanks everyone who said they’d like to hear it from me.

So here we go…

I talk to God, or rather God talks to me. Freaky isn’t it?

What I’ve discovered during my hiatus from writing is that even though I remain Wiccan, follow my Wiccan practices, and more often than not visualize the Divine Creator as a Goddess, I also see a male, God if you will. And though many Wiccan’s find the term hard to swallow—I do not. I can say God; I can say “I believe in God” without feeling uncomfortable or that I’m somehow letting down the Goddess or my feminism.

That’s the first thing that I want to say.

The second is: When I say God I’m also saying Goddess, Creator, The Divine, The Universal Power, The Universal Energy etc… but God is short and my auto correct Capitalizes it without me having too, so I may just keep writing it that way.

Yet I’m talking about something MORE than the Christian ‘image’ of God. My beliefs go further than that image and all of its ideology. I very strongly believe that Christian Dogma has limited the scope of God and has reduced it to some puppet form of a greater higher power. That being said most Christians that I know and have conversation with also go beyond this Dogma God of an old man sitting in the clouds on a throne. I feel comfortable in the assumption that they believe, as I do, in the high, unknowable power that does not have one look or face. I believe that they see the Creator as something beyond their ability to comprehend and put a face to it because that’s the only way that we as humans can cope with something so utterly huge and overwhelming. This is more, bigger than the image, I believe, ‘the church’ (as a generalization) wants people to see.

Christianity has reduced God to something easily swallowed by the common masses. They did it centuries ago to simplify conversion. Now I think there is a movement to drop all that and return to the higher power in a stronger and deeper way.

These thoughts that I am writing are still new to me and know very well formed. They are thought that I continue to explore as I re-explore my Christian roots.

When I look at God in this way my mixture of beliefs Pagan and Christian do not challenge each other. They work together seamlessly and without strife.

And what’s more, God told me that’s how it’s supposed to be...

yup I'm leaving you hanging with that one. Will write more later...


i can't think of a subject to write here
12.06.06 (9:44 am)   [edit]
Although i have a lot to say regarding the last few months of my life, i'm at a loss as to how to go about it. in the meantime I've done a little work fixing the links to some of my older articles. If it's been awhile since you read then, or are a new reader of my few and far between posts, I invite you to read those posts listed on the left side of my blog.

I'm rereading them myself and find it interesting how my opinions and beliefs have evolved since i first began writing here.

I wouldn't say changed because at the core I still have the same faith in the same creator as i always have. However the words, the humanity with which I have relationship with the Creator has altered, evolved, if you will, and it's doing it so fast my brain is having a hard time catching up to my heart and my soul.

hopefully I'll figure out away to explain it all, someday. But as i learned at my silent retreat sometimes it's better to just 'let it be' and not force understanding or the need to figure it out.

sorry to leave you all hanging, but that's just the way it is these days.


Be Still and Know that I am God
11.12.06 (4:33 pm)   [edit]
In a little less than I week I will be getting on a Bus and traveling to a Retreat entitled 'Be Still and Know that I am God'. It will be eight days of Silence, Prayer, and Meditation.

"A time to rest, be in nature and deepen your spiritual journey — all in an atmosphere of prayer-filled silence. This is an intentional silence that helps persons on retreat encounter that still, quiet, healing place within — where there can be openness to the movement of the Spirit. An hour of individual spiritual direction is offered each day and the community of retreatants comes together daily for meals in silence and participatory worship."

My daily life is full of noise. Mostly it is joyful noise, but it also contains angry noise, stressful noise and the loudest noise of all- Frustrated Silence.

Frustrated Silence because the words remain in my head. I do not speak them in an attempt to get the other noise at a minimum. But of course that ever does anyone any good and this silence can no longer remain.

To trade it for Chosen Silence- feels like I've been given a precious jewel. I hold it in my hand and just feel the relief and joy of it wash over me. I crave silence. I crave quiet. I have not heard my inner voice speak for so long, I wonder if we still speak the same language.

I feel that my soul is withering on the vine and this choice of silence will be the sweet water that revives it. It waits patience and still knowing that in mere days I will feast on Silence and Solitude and the voice within and the voice of God will speak as one.

Priest Speaks on Paganism
10.20.06 (10:51 am)   [edit]
Okay this awesome video must be watched by everyone whoes ever had questions or concerns about paganism. For some of you- you will be shocked. It's cool. Go watch it right now.


I haven't had a lot of time lately to write. I've been very busy with a lot of things- mostly all good.

I'll be back soon to write more and finish what i started with my question about a pagan speaking with God.



Demystifying Misconceptions

This Blog chronicles the journey of one woman as she attempts to define her faith and place in the universe.

I'm a geeky sort of Fae most of the time

Blog Posts of Note:

*Christian and Wiccan at The Same Time

*A Walk with Jesus’ Mom

*Finding God in Wicca

*Universal Myth and Personal Myth- Definitions in Consensus Reality

The Matrix: Systems Healing and Thinking, an Introduction

*Magic, Witches and the Bible

*A brief History of Wicca

*Wicca 101 part 1

*Wicca 101 part 2

*Spells and the Modern Witch

*Do Witches Worship Satan?

*Religious View

*Interview with a Witch

*A Witch's Story of Creation

*One Definition of the Divine

*I am a Witch

* Original Sin, from a Witches point of View

*Why a Witch Could care less about Harry Potter

*Satan is not my Sidekick

*The other people: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Bible